An ant dragging a dead bee. I take strange photos sometimes.

“Okay. Can I open my eyes yet?”

“Not yet…. not yet… okay… now! Go check under your pillow. I think there’s something from the tooth fairy!”

[He goes, checks]

“Hey, thanks Mary!”

“What!? What makes you think I am the tooth fairy?”

“Well, you made it a little obvious.”

Anyway, I’m glad I went. It was good exercise and a nice way to enjoy nature. Besides, it had been a while since my legs turned to jello.

A not so great pic of a really pretty watefall

So yeah. I don’t know what to do. If you want more details than that, read on.

I have been on Very Low Calorie Diets before, averaging 900 calories per day along with running 30 flights of stairs, walking, etc .. and didn’t lose anything after months of consistent effort. In fact, when I gave up the intense exercise, I -gained- weight, even though the 900 calories per day thing had become a mindless habit I’d break once or twice per week when I was with friends or family. And for years I went on like that.

Last August or September or so, I got with a nutritionist who scolded me soundly and had me bump up my intake by a few calories at a time until I was maintaining my weight at 2000 calories per day. She’d said I should be at 2500 for my body type and typical activity level, but I hadn’t reached that point yet, when I reintroduced daily hour-long workouts. I did that most of this summer, and I did not lose ANY weight.

I have not, however, tried low-carb diets before this one, for what it’s worth. I -LOVE- my carbs (cracked wheat and blueberries with honey, oh how I miss you!!) and have been trying not to eat very much meat. So this is definitely shaking things up for me that way.

Anyway, I still think the fact that I’ve dropped 14 pounds in the past two weeks really is significant. And it’s coming right off my fatty places: my belly, my chin, my thighs. The muscles in my abs and arms are just starting to show through. This morning I discovered just a hint of a collarbone again. I absolutely HATE this diet, but I cant deny it’s working. I only have 16 more pounds to go before I’m in the top end of a healthy weight range. And to think last Monday I was borderline obese. Yeah, I don’t think I looked “obese” either. Overweight, yes; but both my BMI and my body fat percentages concurred: I was headed for some major health risks if I didn’t shape up.

So I’m happy to finally see some progress there.

And yet I’m so incredibly miserable, I’m severely tempted to quit. EVERYTHING from work to laundry to polishing my talk, to wearing a smile or walking up the stairs – it is _just so hard_ to deal with right now. And I really do have a lot to do.

So I’m considering tinkering with Simeon’s protocol and adding some healthy carbs into the mix while remaining on the drops, while closely observing my weight, waist, mood, and energy levels, as well as checking ketone levels out of morbid curiosity.

I don’t care if my weight loss slows down or even stops. I know I was a whole lot happier 14 pounds ago than I am now. But I do care if I start gaining again after what I’ve put myself through so far. So I’m out on the net trying to find out whether anyone else has done the same and what their results were. And if nothing else, I’ll comment here to let you know what I decided to do and how it worked out.

By the way, if you feel like torturing yourself this way, I noticed the Fresh Markets around here have the drops for about $30. I so wouldn’t recommend it though unless your life is virtually stress-free, especially if you haven’t given healthy habits a long-term, consistent effort.

If so, facebook friend me. I’ll spare the rest of you.

And yeah, I am happy dancing like Snoopy. Thanks for asking!

I didn’t see the picture he drew to cheer her up until today:

No, this isn't perfect, it's good. But it is trying to be perfect. Same with all of us too!

As many times as I’ve experienced this artistic plight, I really appreciated the “same with all of us too!” bit he added there at the end that applies it to life in general. I know what I want to do, and the kind of person I want to be. I’m keenly aware of how far off I am now. But I’ll keep trying. In the meantime, my kids really are perfect for me.

Still, I thought the lesson was beginning to stick — until she started hoarding handfuls of firework fluff tonight. You know those kiddie fireworks that shoot out confetti? At some point Mary asked me to hold the wad of streamers she’d collected. D’oh. But she was running around, and I was chatting with friends, so I figured I’d save that discussion for later.

So, just after we’d pulled into our driveway, I opened my hand to show Mary the fluff, and opened my mouth to say something. But before I had the chance, she threw her arms around me and said, “It’s a gift to you, Mom!”

It took me a moment to reformulate my lecture: “Okay, but what am I supposed to do with it?”

With a kiss on my cheek, she whispered in my ear, “Accept it.”

It's all yours!

Any tips on teaching your kids that stuff is just stuff?

I’m one of those moms. I don’t make my kids clean their rooms. They help with the other chores around the house, but I let them be responsible for their own space. Or at least that’s what I tell myself.

Ethan’s room is disorganized, but nothing that couldn’t be whipped into shape within a half an hour. He likes it clean, or clean enough, and frequently makes it so. Mary’s bedroom floor, on the other hand, is seeing the light of day for the first time in quite a while. The mess didn’t bother her until she literally couldn’t play in her room without stepping on her stuff. Two weeks ago she started drawing pictures of how she’d like her room to look, and when she asked for help making it look that way, of course I was much obliged.

She also decided she’d like a cube organizer (in addition to her aluminum foil) for her birthday, and I was happy to get her that. Grandma pitched in and bought her a new quilt as further incentive to make her space beautiful. And Ethan and I agreed we’d help her clean.

What a process it’s been though. I love that she’s crafty, has a good memory and excellent imagination, and is rather sentimental, but I’m having a devil of a time trying to teach her that her stuff is just stuff. Especially since I was the same way! I remember being six or seven years old and shedding many a tear over the loss of my dear friend Rachel the Apricot Pit, whom I’d bestowed with a felt-tipped face and some fuzzy red-yarn hair.

Mary had a small family of toilet paper tubes… a tall one with brown eyes named Cylinder Mom, and two blue-eyed tubes named Cylinder Ethan and Cylinder Mary. You could tell them apart because the Cylinder Mary had bigger, cuter eyes, as her maker was wont to point out. This little tubular family has been living on a cardboard nightstand she fashioned some time ago, and their job was to hold the letters and notes we’d write each other. Voodoo-doll mailboxes of a sort, I guess. But today she parted with the nightstand after removing and saving the “PARTY” sign she’d cut out for it. She even said goodbye to the toilet paper tubes, but not before giving them each sentimental kisses and wishing them happiness and new friends at the dump.

WHY does this tug at my heartstrings so? Oh… and the craziest part? Now that I’ve taken the Cylinders out to the dumpster, I’m regretting not taking their pictures first. *Sigh*

Anyway. We’re done. For now. Here’s hoping it’ll last long enough to be worth the trauma it took to get there.

But many of you, particularly my girl friends, have never heard of “Will It Blend” or Blendtec. And when I say “Oh! It’s so cool! They have these super tough blenders that blend stuff, like magnets and silly putty and iPhones!” you look at me like I’m from another planet.

So here are a few links to fill you in.

Blendtec on Modern Marvels: Super awesome behind-the scenes stuff, and a great overview, too.

Total Blender on Time Warp: Blending stuff is even cooler when it’s filmed at 10,000 frames per second and then played back in high definition slow mo! On this one they blend strawberries, gum balls, a video camera, and butane lighters. Parental discretion advised if your kid is a pyro. Otherwise, be sure to watch it in HD!

Bad guys, good guy, and a blender: A notoriously tough guy gets in the blender with the bad guys. Who will win? Blendtec had to remove this after the tough guy (whose name I dare not mention since I work for BT now, but you can find one of his many fan sites here) sent a cease and desist. But several youtube users had re-posted the original video, including this one. Too funny.

And of course we have Will It Blend? — a huge video collection of Tom Dickson blending stuff. And last but not least, blendtec.com — which is going to look awesome before the summer’s through.

And the best part of all of it? They Gave Me A Blender! Anyone up for smoothies?